I Get To Be Brave

Buckle up y’all.

You’re in for a wild ride.

First, a little fun fact.

I was adopted as a newborn.

It was a closed adoption.

I had a great childhood and my parents did their absolute best to make sure I had everything I wanted/needed and then some.

I never really expressed much desire to learn about my bio parents, outside of general questions.

My mom and dad are my mom and dad.

I don’t see them as my “adoptive parents.”

My parents handled it beautifully.

I always knew I was adopted.

I honestly can’t remember a time they sat me down and was like “hey! You’re adopted!”

I’ve always known and I think that’s a beautiful thing!

Fast forward to 2018-ish.

I wanted to know my ancestry.

I’ve always been told I’m Cuban so I really wanted to know if that’s true!

I did 23&Me.

I think I lowkey wanted to find my bio mom or bio dad too, but I definitely wanted to know my heritage!

Peep the results!

Along with the results came the DNA relatives.

At the time, the closest was like a second cousin haha.

Not close enough 😂

Fast forward again to 2020.

This time I did Ancestry.

I did it to find information on my bio mom and bio dad at this point.

*Unapologetic review on both 23&Me and Ancestry: I like 23&Me’s format. I think it’s easier to use and more aesthetically pleasing. I also scored 23&Me+ for free. I may be a little biased.

If you’re looking to map out your family tree, then definitely go with Ancestry. But be prepared to pay for everything. Nothing is free on there. It’s all add-ons.*

BACK TO THE STORY!!!

The ancestry results linked me to my birth mother!

I messaged her on ancestry.

It was a great conversation.

Nothing off the wall life changing (sorry!), but it was cathartic.

I definitely needed that.

Despite my parents best efforts, I still really struggled with fear of abandonment.

I think that started from being adopted.

Through that conversation, I learned there was a very slim chance I’d ever learn more about my bio father’s side.

She was kind enough to provide me with his Facebook link.

I drafted a Facebook message to a bio relative of his but never ended up sending it.

Thank the Lord above I didn’t!

THE FINAL CHAPTER HAS ARRIVED!!!

Yesterday, I reached out in a ladies group of mine on Facebook.

I asked the question if I should reach out to my bio father’s side.

They were very supportive and unanimously said yes, but to watch my approach.

So, I sucked it up and I did it.

I left it very open ended and had very little expectations.

Truth be told, I never expected a reply.

Knowing myself, I would have likely read the message then blocked this psychopath because she got me all the way <insert curse word> up 😂

Much to my surprise, she responded.

Her response was so kind.

She’s a much better person than I and I respect her very greatly for that!

She wanted to do her due diligence first before offering any information.

I highly encouraged that and answered any questions she had to help her through that process.

I also continually gave her an out.

I never ever wanted her to continue messaging me if it caused any sort of trauma or lasting damage.

We chatted back and forth casually.

She did her investigating.

Come to find out, none of them knew!

However, she was able to gather enough information to confirm the possibility that I’m not some money hungry crazy lady bent on destruction 😂😂😂

From there, my heart exploded with joy and surprise.

I couldn’t even believe where this conversation took me.

All I can say is God showed up big for me yesterday.

What an amazing experience and I’m so grateful He gave me the courage to reach out.

I dipped my toes in, but she pushed me in!!!

I was driving when her investigation wrapped up and I cried.

This experience was everything I never thought would happen.

The way my brain works is “expect the worst and nothing less!”

It’s a problem.

I’m well aware it’s a problem!

I don’t need the peanut gallery telling me so.

My message for you…

If you are adopted and something is pulling on your heart to reach out to your bio family, I encourage you to do so.

I didn’t go balls to the walls.

I went in with all the expectations of hearing nothing back ever.

Not even if there's a fire!! (Unashamed Step Brothers reference)

If you’re considering it and have no idea where to start, please message me!!!

I am not going to share anything of my conversation, but I will help you draft that first message.

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If you take nothing else from this today, I want you to know:

You are loved!

You are valued!

You matter!

Until next time…

❤️The Aut Mama❤️