A Letter To My Former Self
- Ashleigh Atwood
- May 4, 2024
- 3 min read
*Trigger Warning* Some might find the situations I hint at upsetting in the day and age we live in now; cancel culture.
*End Disclaimer*
Dear Past Self,
I forgive you.
I forgive you for making decisions and choices that did not align with your core values and beliefs.
I forgive you for putting yourself behind others who did not deserve it.
I forgive you for taking ownership of things that were not yours to own.
I forgive you for staying stuck.
I forgive you for thinking less of you and allowing others to think the same.
I forgive you for willingly putting yourself in situations that altered the course of your path to greatness.
I forgive you for using and abusing yourself, drugs, strangers, and those who loved you most.
I forgive you for blaming yourself solely for your trauma and pain.
I forgive you for seeing the worst in yourself.
I forgive you for compromising your safety in order to be accepted by people who didn’t even deserve your glance.
I’m writing this letter, not to shame you for who you once were.
On the contrary, I am writing this letter to give you the hope you were so lacking once upon a time.
I want you to know, we made it, baby girl.
I want you to know that the life we imagined in our dreams has come to pass.
I want you to know that today, against all odds, our life has meaning.
I want you to know that your suffering has not been forgotten nor will it ever be.
I want you to know that others find us so desirable, they are willing to create things out of thin air in order to keep you around (more on this next week).
I want you to know that you have risen like a phoenix from ashes.
We’re not rich in the worldly sense (unfortunate, at times).
However, we are rich in the areas that will live on long after we are gone on this earthly plane.
So, thank you.
Thank you for not giving up (although you did try a few times and failed miserably).
Thank you for holding on to whatever teeny tiny fleck of hope you had left that we could make a change.
Thank you for believing God may just redeem you.
Thank you for crashing and burning.
Thank you for surrendering.
Thank you for making mistakes and making corrections.
Thank you for pushing on when you had no idea where you were pushing.
Thank you for putting your faith in which you cannot see.
Because of you, I have purpose today.
Because of you, I have a wealth of knowledge on how not to do things.
Because of you, I can have empathy for my children who may encounter temptations of this world and cave into them a time or two.
Because of you, I can do better for them.
Because of you, I can inspire hope in others.
You did it.
We did it.
We became the strong, powerful, motivational force to be reckoned with in present day.
God laid the foundation, but we chose to keep walking.
I love you.
I finally love you.
I respect you.
I respect the treacherous journey you took.
I embrace you.
I am giving you the hug you so desperately needed all those years ago.
I cherish you.
I acknowledge the gift you are in my present day life.
I forgive you.
I give you the grace you have always deserved but didn’t realize it until recently.
Just for today, I choose to remember all those nights I prayed for what I have today.
With humility and respect,
Comments